On being a single mom....(for a week)

So about three weeks ago, Jeremy was given the opportunity to fly out to Pennsylvania to help build a garage--for some much needed money. It was for a relative who knows how hard Jeremy, his brother and father work, and was willing to pay the airfare for them to fly out there to do this! Anyway, this left me at home by myself to take care of my two little boys.

Now to be honest, I was very anxious about it. For those of you who don't know, I really struggled with Post Partum Depression the first four months after Ian was born. And in general, I would say I have an ongoing struggle with anxiety and insomnia. That said, I was really nervous about being left alone for a week with my kids. This would also happen over the 4th of July, and none of my family were going to be in town to join me. I also usually stay with my mother in law when my husband is out of town--but she had company that week. My mother was also out of town--no one who usually helps was around!

I also admit that I have watched too many episodes of 20/20, Dateline, and other murder mystery shows that depict crazy killers breaking into people's homes and killing everyone. Needless to say, staying alone in the house at night with my two boys was not comforting.

Now to the good news: it was really not a bad week! For the fourth, I found a friend who was also a single mom for the day, and we got to hang out all day while our boys played! It was really nice! The rest of the week, I slept really well, and kept busy by visiting friends. I also went to Hibbing for the last two days and stayed at my crowded mother in law's house. She was ok with this, and it was nice to have company!

However, I want to share a few things that I learned over this week:

1. Single moms (of two) get about a half hour a day to themselves--when they are exhausted at the end of the night and the kids are in bed, or by some miracle when both of their kids are napping at the same time. Honestly, there is no break! And now I will preach a little sermonette on the subject:

I don't care how a woman finds herself in the situation, being a single mom is really the hardest job there is. Instead of taking an easier route (abortion or adoption), she has decided to take on the responsibility (and yes consequences of actions) for another human life. That little person comes out needing to eat every two hours, crying for every need, and not sleeping through the night. As a mom of two babies, I can say that it is extremely overwhelming! To be in it by myself would be nothing short of terrifying. I think our society has grown in our acceptance of these women, but I just want to add that I really hope that is the case. After having walked in their shoes for a week, just don't say anything negative to me about it. And remember, no matter how a woman got herself into the situation of "single mother," it involved a man completely shirking his responsibility in this situation. He should be the object of scorn and judgment, not the person doing the right thing.

2. God really showed me that he is my protector and he will take care of me. I slept extremely well that week, and I had enough patience for my three year old. I was so thankful and can only chalk it up to God giving me extra grace.

3. If you are a single mom, community is so important. I filled the week with outings with friends and having people over. The loneliness would have really gotten to me had I not had lots of companionship. If I were a single mom, I would find other women in the same situation, and "do life" together often. I cannot stress enough how much this really helped me.

To sum up, it was a week full of hard work, but much easier than I thought it would be!