On being a single mom....(for a week)

So about three weeks ago, Jeremy was given the opportunity to fly out to Pennsylvania to help build a garage--for some much needed money. It was for a relative who knows how hard Jeremy, his brother and father work, and was willing to pay the airfare for them to fly out there to do this! Anyway, this left me at home by myself to take care of my two little boys.

Now to be honest, I was very anxious about it. For those of you who don't know, I really struggled with Post Partum Depression the first four months after Ian was born. And in general, I would say I have an ongoing struggle with anxiety and insomnia. That said, I was really nervous about being left alone for a week with my kids. This would also happen over the 4th of July, and none of my family were going to be in town to join me. I also usually stay with my mother in law when my husband is out of town--but she had company that week. My mother was also out of town--no one who usually helps was around!

I also admit that I have watched too many episodes of 20/20, Dateline, and other murder mystery shows that depict crazy killers breaking into people's homes and killing everyone. Needless to say, staying alone in the house at night with my two boys was not comforting.

Now to the good news: it was really not a bad week! For the fourth, I found a friend who was also a single mom for the day, and we got to hang out all day while our boys played! It was really nice! The rest of the week, I slept really well, and kept busy by visiting friends. I also went to Hibbing for the last two days and stayed at my crowded mother in law's house. She was ok with this, and it was nice to have company!

However, I want to share a few things that I learned over this week:

1. Single moms (of two) get about a half hour a day to themselves--when they are exhausted at the end of the night and the kids are in bed, or by some miracle when both of their kids are napping at the same time. Honestly, there is no break! And now I will preach a little sermonette on the subject:

I don't care how a woman finds herself in the situation, being a single mom is really the hardest job there is. Instead of taking an easier route (abortion or adoption), she has decided to take on the responsibility (and yes consequences of actions) for another human life. That little person comes out needing to eat every two hours, crying for every need, and not sleeping through the night. As a mom of two babies, I can say that it is extremely overwhelming! To be in it by myself would be nothing short of terrifying. I think our society has grown in our acceptance of these women, but I just want to add that I really hope that is the case. After having walked in their shoes for a week, just don't say anything negative to me about it. And remember, no matter how a woman got herself into the situation of "single mother," it involved a man completely shirking his responsibility in this situation. He should be the object of scorn and judgment, not the person doing the right thing.

2. God really showed me that he is my protector and he will take care of me. I slept extremely well that week, and I had enough patience for my three year old. I was so thankful and can only chalk it up to God giving me extra grace.

3. If you are a single mom, community is so important. I filled the week with outings with friends and having people over. The loneliness would have really gotten to me had I not had lots of companionship. If I were a single mom, I would find other women in the same situation, and "do life" together often. I cannot stress enough how much this really helped me.

To sum up, it was a week full of hard work, but much easier than I thought it would be!

Football? Hockey? No, a flat head!

Hey everyone! I know, I know, the posting is out of control. I am trying to make up for lost time! So, from the title, you probably already know what I am going to write about. As I mentioned in a previous post, our baby, Ian, had colic when he was two months old. One of the only places we could calm him down was his bouncy seat, which also had a vibrator in it. He like it better than our arms! Unfortunately, he also had a condition that we were unaware of, torticollis. In Ian's case, this means that while he was inside me, he probably had his head in a position that caused his neck muscles to tighten on one side. It wasn't severe enough for us to notice it right away, and all through his second month we would put him in the bouncer and not notice that his head was always tilted to one side.

It was only when a good friend of ours, who's daughter also had the condition, took notice while she was attending a shower at our home, that we were made aware of it. Even when she pointed it out, we weren't sure if she was right. However, not wanting to take any chances, I set up an appointment with our doctor. After examining him, our doctor agreed that he did have torticollis and that he should see a physical therapist. She also mentioned that if the flat spot didn't get better, we may also want to have him wear a helmet to correct his head.

I was really surprised that he actually had this, and was thinking only positive thoughts at this point. I really didn't think he would need a helmet. After about six weeks of physical therapy, it was decided that he would need one after all. It wasn't what we wanted to hear, but we also wanted to see Ian get better. Of course, there was some guilt about how many hours he had been in that bouncy seat, but we really didn't know until it was too late!

Many insurance companies do not choose to pay for treatment of flat heads, citing that it is "cosmetic." While it might be cosmetic, having a flat head is not going to do anyone any favors in school. We all know how cruel the world can be to even a "normal" kid, so we opted to go with the treatment. Fortunately, we have insurance that covered the physical therapy. They also cover the helmet, after a $2500 deductible is met! Which means we are paying for the helmet out of our pocket. Again, lots of money, but worth the sacrifice.

A lot of people ask me if I am having a hard time with this. I have to say that yes, it's hard to make Ian so hot in the middle of the summer (his head gets really sweaty), and it's hard because I can't get in there to nuzzle him. I feel the helmet blocking me whenever I go in for a hug or kiss. However, in the grand scheme of things, this really is a minor setback. We have a niece with severe epilepsy who cannot even talk, and she is five years old. Therefore, we are counting our blessings and thankful that nothing more severe is wrong with Ian.

So, this should answer all the questions regarding the helmet! I am happy to report that at his two week check up two weeks ago, they were already impressed with his progress! I am hoping by the end of the summer that we will be able to have the helmet off!

A Spot on the Sopha

This past weekend we visited some friends, the Sopha's, who are near and dear to our hearts. They moved to Iowa about a year and a half ago (has it really been that long?). You can read their blog, A Spot on the Sopha, to see why we think they are so wonderful! And to see their four, adorable, girls, Addie, Josie, Ella, and Gwen. Now, I will not say that I am an amazing long distance friend. In fact, I am a terrible one! Lucky for me, my husband is really tight with Steve, so that means we will be visiting these guys until one of us moves out of driving range! Here is a list of why we love them so much:

1. They both have the gift of hospitality. When they lived in Duluth, the parties were always at their place, sometimes with only a few hours notice (did I mention they have four kids?)

2. They have the gift of hospitality. Their door is always open--they are truly always there for you!

3. They have the gift of hospitality. When we go to visit, they cook elaborate meals, have a special guest room, and will pretty much do anything to make sure you have a good time.

4. Did I mention they have the gift of hospitality? Their hearts are so big--we miss them here in Duluth, but we really enjoy visiting them too!

Also, some amazing things we get to see and do when we visit:

1. Hold baby kittens!
2. See chickens and roosters!
3. Swim in their pool
4. Go to the local Bent n Dent where they sell all kinds of great finds (expired of course, but it's still good!)
5. Go antiquing
6. Go to an auction (I have never been yet, but it's on my list)
7. See their beautiful pear trees
8. Their girls play with my son for hours--and they are so sweet! And did I mention Steve and Julie have very well behaved girls? I only hope to follow in their footsetps with my own children.
9. Play Settlers of Catan with two of the best players in the world.
10. Visit a "just right" sized county fair. Here are some pictures of the fun:

Evan doing the tractor pull

Evan on his favorite ride, the "race cars"

At the monster truck show!

Evan and Gwen playing together so nice!

We love you Sopha's!